I need support. I need every mama out there right now. I mean it. I NEED.EVERY .MAMA. RIGHT. NOW! (please..whimper)
I thought that things were going down hill a few weeks ago, but then, I went home to Michigan for 5 days, Grant went away for business for 5 days, I just hoped and prayed that it was a fluke. That things were going to go back to normal. They didn’t. Today…marks the first official day of NO NAP. How can I survive this? As I type this very second, I am testing out “Quiet Time” which means to me, that I have shut Liam in his room, with him only allowed to come out if he has to pee..is that what I am suppose to do? Also, let me just get this part out before anyone goes on to the land of “judgement”. Its not the end of the world, its a “First world” problem, I’m very dramatic, things could be worse, he IS almost 4. I’m lucky I even get to stay home with him at all. A lot of mamas would give anything to have more time, including a lost nap time to be with their child. I know, really I do. But right now, I am looking at my baby, who is no longer a baby, and I am looking at my 2 hours a day of alone time that I work, and blog, and lets be honest, get my self back to a place of calm so I can be the best mommy possible, and I am panicking. No nap means adjustment. It means a new “phase” it means, change. The worst part, I EMBRACED it yesterday, like FULLY. I mean, Liam said “NO NAP mama”, and I said “AWESOME! lets go on an adventure”, and we did!! and it was great, and today…today I am teetering on the edge of melt down. PLEEEAAASSEEE tell me you have been there. I know you have survived it, I know it. I know my mom survived it, although, I was still taking naps after I got home from kindergarten when I was 6!! Did you embrace it, did you cry, did you see a therapist? Such a weird mixture of sadness that my baby is growing up, and selfishness that I am losing alone time. I’m only be honest.
Both my kids stoped taking naps at 3 1/2. I was upset at first but it helped with bed time. There is nothing wrong with making him go to his room for an hour and look at books or lay down. They do this at both my son’s preschool and daycare (adults need time away from their kids or the kids they are caring for) to decompress. It will help him adjust better when he starts school.
First Momma, you aren’t selfish, or insane, or teetering on the edge of any abyss. It’s all part of being a MOMMA!!
Second, No Naps doesn’t necessarily mean that the day has to go “full steam ahead” all the time. When Lil’Dude was nearing the end of said nap time, we too had “quiet time.” Some times it was plugging in his favorite movie (yes I am THAT momma), sometimes just snuggling why he “read” a book and I scoured my mommy porn (aka People, Vogue, BH&G, House Beautiful), and even on occasion we snuggled in a chair and momma dozed while he snuggled (even if only for 5 minutes).
Embrace it. It’s ok. You will soon find ways to accommodate all of things YOU did while he napped. It’s his means of starting his independence. Soon, and it is a GREAT thing, he will want to leave YOU alone to “adventure” on his own (whether with that movie, or dinosaurs, or coloring books, or trucks, or mud) and you will find that TIME you were afraid you were about to loose.
Be STRONG Momma! It’sall goooood!
PS. We still catch ourselves saying “WHOA Lil’Dude got “big” over night. How did that happen? When did that happen?” Some times the changes are small and it takes a bunch of them to add up to notice the change and sometimes it is one BIG event to notice the change. And our Lil’Dude was 7 (Holy Hell how did THAT happen) this past December!
We all need a little time to ourselves, no one more so than the stay at home mom. We transitioned using quiet time, too. Although I will be the mom to admit that sometimes that meant Word World on PBS. Remember that like all other transitions that seem like they take forever, this too will get easier. Hang in there!
I FEEL YOU! That must be an unnerving transition. Yes, keep going on the quiet time, for sure. (I’d encourage books, trucks/trains or coloring over TV so he can have more of a ‘break’ but that depends on his personality & your comfort level with screen time) And like Heather said above, maybe it’ll make it possible for him to be in bed a bit earlier. I am the mom who was teetering on the edge of diaster with a BABY who wouldn’t nap properly, I never had 2 hrs in a row to myself (and would dream of having a job to go to 😉 until… she started day care at 28 months! Before that she would sleep 30-60 mins that’s it. And 2-3 times a day, which meant a lot of mommy help getting/ staying asleep. UGH, it made me scared to have another child and look at me now… ready to take that on too! Liam might get used to you needing your time, too and work side by side with you in the same room. Once everyone has adjusted. GOOD LUCK!
This is a comment from Jenna R. I unknowingly deleted instead of published!
I echo what all the other Momma’s said. I will face this soon. So, because I can’t share what we did, maybe I can remind you of all the challenges you’ve already conquered. Remember when you would have done anything to get Liam to sleep through the night? Eventually he did. And remember when you had to wean Liam off of a bottle (or whatever method you used!)…you did that too. Changes are never easy and never ending. It’s just another step in Liam’s journey to big-boyhood. This is only day two, and without a doubt, in a few days, you will find a new normal that will be even more awesome than your current normal. I can say that because in the last 11 months and 1 day, we have had a thousand new normals and each one was even more fun than the last. Have faith that Liam’s new No Nap schedule will transition into welcomed quiet time for both of you. Maybe a trip to a kid store to pick out a new thing for Liam to do during his quiet time (like a coloring book, dinosaur lego’s, action figures. Something that takes some imagination). That way he get’s to be part of the decision and will look forward to the quiet time. i.e. he can only do that activity during quiet time? Just an idea? Good luck Momma. We’ve got your back. xoxo
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!! I appreciate all of the support and advice!! Love the idea of special toys JUST for play time, and also Marlo left a comment on FB suggesting taking things along with me in the car if Liam sleeps on rides, so I can park and work!! Thank you!!