Happy Sunday!and Happy St.Patricks day!!
Have you ever been around people that you love, but they drive you crazy? Im sure the answer is a screaming YESSSSSS!!! Do you beat yourself up for NOT changing something in you that you aren’t happy with? I know..I do the same thing!! It occurred to me a few weeks ago, as I was having a conversation with my good friend “S”…that I ( we as people) spend a lot of time judging ourselves about parts of ourselves that are just authentically US. Let me explain. I have a horrible temper. I have always had a horrible temper, and I have always been ashamed of it. Its a role that was given to me when I was very young ( in fact in my baby book, my mom wrote “wow I have never seen a baby with such a temper”). Over the course of the last 5 years, I have studied, and learned and done a lot of “self” work, to learn different techniques to curb this. It has helped tremendously. The biggest lesson I learned is that we can change our “roles”…The problem is…on those days that I don’t “perfectly” execute a calm attitude towards everything…I beat myself up over it. I get sad, I feel defeated, like I have tried so hard and I STILL cant get a handle on it. So in this conversation with “S” we spoke about accepting and LOVING ourselves even the worst parts of ourselves, for who we are, and how that specific piece, whatever it is, creates who we are. I realized that other people set me off, because I am judging MYSELF. If we can learn to accept our AUTHENTIC selves, good and bad, we will be able to accept others in THEIR authenticity! am I making sense?? it made total sense to me when I realized it..so I just wanted to share.
SO the next question is, “How do We DO this”?
I think the specifics will be different for everyone, but in general, like almost anything else we strive to accept, Just recognizing it its the first step!! So, I KNOW there will be days that my temper will be present …the key is recognizing that this reaction is happening, and recovering from it faster. In recovering, for me, it means apologizing taking responsibility, and being able to accept that I have made a conscious decision to be aware of of it. Loving myself for who I am. This is part of me, and I will continue to move forward and grow and learn.
What “role” do you have in your family, or in life? are you the “Emotional one” are you the “Smart One” or the “Pretty One” are you the “sassy one with a temper” ? Do you like the role? comment below, I would love to hear.
Enjoy your Sunday!!!
~Kim
I am totally the emotional one (although I like to think I am the smart and pretty one:) I fought the emotional me for so many years – trying to be the tough one. that turned out to be awful for me as it led me down wrong career paths and kept people from really getting to know me…wow, I just really opened up in this comment. look at what you did to me!! Thank you for this post – I think it is so important!